Author Archives: PF

Dvorak: Mass in D and Howells: Te Deum

Bhopal, Hands On and Queen Viper are singing in a concert on the 25th March at St Peter’s Church, Southfield Road, Chiswick, W4 1BB at 7.30pm
Programme: Dvorak: Mass in D and Howells: Te Deum
Tickets are £13 in advance or £15 on the door
Bhopal and Hands on will also be singing in a jazz concert as part of the Brandenburg Festival on the 1st April

Hashers Interviewed

On one of our recent runs some trainee journalists carried out some podcast interviews of Hashes for an internet radio station, if you would like to listen to this then stick your headphones, or speakers, on and Cick Hear. I was particularly intrigued by Dingo’s explanation of how she got her name; “because I come from Australia”. I had always thought that Dingo was an abbreviation for her full Hash name and also that there was a bit more to it than that……

2017 Ides of March, Italian Nash Hash, Rome

March 17-19th Weekend
Programme
Friday, March 17: Registration at Miscellanea pub (from 5pm), via della Palombella (next to the Pantheon), St Patricks Day evening pub crawl and dinner.
Saturday, March 18: Beach run (1pm) and dinner at Ostia.
Sunday, March 19: Toga scenic run through Rome, and Killing of Caesar (12 noon), from Piazzale Ugo La Malfa where the closing circle will be held.
Cost: £200 for the entire weekend, including accommodation (double rooms) for the 17th and 18th March, at the Casa Santa Sofia, near the Coliseum. IOM T-shirt included. Own airline arrangements.
Transport to Ostia on 18th March provided by Rome H3.
Please let Going Commando know if you are going at:
Deposit required NOW to secure your place: £100. lh3hare@londonhash.org
Final payment 31 January 2017.
Only a few places left. Pl. indicate T shirt size: S/M/L/XL.

Hampstead 12 June 2016

Run 1597, 28th April 2016 – Green Man, Putney Heath

The venue for this Thursday’s run was that reliable favourite: the Green Man, on Putney heath. With Lick a Pile performing a dual role as both hare and GM, what could go wrong? Well, nothing much as it turned out.
Having been assaulted by an overly aggressive lamp post on a previous hash in Action, your scribe was taking no chances on this occasion, and donned his high-viz vest for this trail. Oh how my fellow hashers mocked and ridiculed my garb. But the last laugh was on me, as I was not accosted by a single lamppost on the whole trail. Who says health and safety is a waste of time?
At the on-off our two visitors – the GM from San Diego Hash [insert name here] and Camping Gas from Guildford – were given the customary West London welcome, and the hare received a cheer for announcing that there would be a drink stop. We then set off, not into the beckoning wild woods of Putney Heath as one might expect, but in a series of loops into some of the less scenic housing estates of Putney. Apparently the hare did this deliberately to frustrate Pickled Fart, who historically has ‘owned’ the role of Putney Heath hash master.
Before too long, normal service was resumed and we crossed the road and continued on the trail through the heath, and then on around parts of Wimbledon Common, before returning back to the heath. Your scribe was diligently recording every step on his trusty OS map and is therefore in a positon to share this with you thanks to the wonders of the InterWeb: Map of Trail
Giving credit where it is due, Lick a Pile did a great job of setting the trail, with frequent clear markings and just the right number of checks and false trails to keep the pack together. The only thing I could not figure out is that even though I ran flat out between checks, the hare would always be waiting there already, smiling and looking very relaxed. So either he was very clever and used some cunning shortcuts, or alternatively, recalling the tale of the hare and the tortoise, our hare was in fact one of a number of identical ‘tortoises’ placed strategically at each check. Since the first explanation is clearly not credible, we must assume that Lick a Pile does indeed have a number of clones at his disposal.
Arriving at the drink stop we were treated to some potent Czech sprit reputed to be 65% proof. Deceptively easy to sip, but with an after burn that removes the lining from your oesophagus. As usual, one could overhear the Pope trying to coerce his fellow hashers into joining him in Hell. Then it was time to head back to the Green Man for beer and the circle. This proved to be a tricky gig for the GM when it came to inviting the hare into the circle, but Lick a pile handled it adroitly thanks to some nimble foot work. Our visitors were then give their customary down-downs, and since one was in fact the GM of the San Diego Hash, the rule: “One GM gets a down-down, all GMs get a down-down” was invoked, and he was joined by Wacker and Last Tango. Penalties were handed out for various obscure reasons that escape me now, some of which may have involved Australians and wine drinking. As usual, the details become somewhat hazy as the evening progresses.
On On
New Balls Please

Pompous lecture

As some of you know City Hash have managed to get themselves barred from what used to be one of the best Hash pubs in London. Whilst we all know what a great bunch we are, this may be a good time to reflect on the perception of bar staff and locals on having their pub invaded by a lot of sweaty people in running gear and maintain good public relations by:-

-Not changing in public bar areas before or after runs.

-Not flushing sanitary products down toilets (one of City’s alleged misdemeanours), or keeping them engaged for excessive lengths of time while we change.

-Minimizing the amount of mud we bring back into the pub after off -road runs.

-Engaging with locals and being considerate of them.

-Not congregating where we are blocking the natural flow of the pub.

-Moderating our language with regard to who may be within earshot.

-Being courteous towards bar staff and exercise patience, even if we overwhelm them a bit at times. And remember to thank them at the end of the evening.

-Consider the pub’s reputation with its neighbours, don’t allow outside circles to become too noisy (don’t chat in the background when the RA is performing), or go on too long, and leave the pub quietly

Run nr 1595 on 14 April 2016 – George & Dragon, Acton

It wasn’t the Journey to Hell, it wasn’t the Friday 13th hash, but this week’s hash was still macabre nonetheless. The Mismanagements campaign to attract new harriettes was continuing to go from strength to strength by having the run set in Acton Town, where not only does it have the highest number of greasy fried chicken shops per capita in the UK but it is also a suburb where there is currently a sexual predator on the loose. Those of us used to fending off predators on a Thursday evening were not perturbed by this and still made it along.

The hidden gem in amongst the dilapidation was our venue for this week, the George and Dragon pub/microbrewery. Hashers crawled out of the woodwork, excited at the thought of drinking real ale at Wetherspoons’ £3 a pint prices but in a chav-free environment. Unfortunately the better half of the haring duo, Martian Matron, was struck down with flu but our knight in shining armour Moron gallantly soldiered round on his own setting us a mighty fine trail.

There was a further casualty that evening, on the ‘Peckham of the West’ run itself when New Balls Please nearly knocked himself out. He’d been TV location spotting, looking for Mandela House and failed to spot the lamppost straight in front of him. You plonker!

Back at the pub our illustrious RA Plug once again entertained us with stories of stupidity from the run. Sins I can just about remember through my vodka haze are: KMA for his lack of navigational skills, Hummingbird for leaving us and Robocop just for being Robocop. There was a naming too, young virgin Millie, offspring of Chocolate Starfish was named Chocolate Millipede. The speed she knocked back that down down shows true hasher potential.

I can confirm that all three ladies toilets were fully functional at the end of the evening so we’ll be ok to return there in the future.

On on

Love Deuce

Run 1593 31 March 2016, Teddington

The Adelaide, Teddington
Hare: Foreskin
Scribe: Doner Kebab

After leaving our bags in the provided upstairs room the hare announced “Bad news & good
news”. Bad: He was not going to accompany us and we should thoroughly check and call
loudly. Good: The reason being that he needed to prepare the drink and food stop.

At the nearby first check, most checked towards the town centre but the true trail was
eventually called almost backwards towards the National Physical Laboratory and a Bushy
Park entrance. The check just outside the park was quickly called inside to the right by
NutSucker heading towards the North West corner for a presumably anti-clockwise tour of
the park.

After zig-zagging with plentiful checks the trail went into a tight loop North of the
Water Gardens. This caught out most of the pack but Butt Plug and few of the slower
guessed the trail would head South from close to an earlier check. They all called
loudly but the pack took a while to cotton on and follow. These new FRB’s soon passed the
walkers which included MoreOn and Lofty. The trail again zig-zagged with people checking
in all directions before Butt Plug again found trail towards the gap in the Woodland.

As the trail reached Chestnut Avenue (the road through the park), instead of following the
paths it crossed the grassy area either side of the road and became almost impossible to
follow. By this time Knickers had finally caught back up and Rambo who started late (as
usual) also caught up. They helped in the search for blobs of flour in the grass. Rambo
finally found one across the road but failed to find any more. Eventually Doner Kebab
found a check away from any paths and everyone there checked in almost every possible
direction. It was a while before Knickers found trail – back on a path – by which time
most of the rest had caught up.

As the light started fading the trail again left the paths and crossed a large area of
rough ground. Progress was very slow as occasionally someone would find a blob of flour
by their torch-light. Finally Rambo spotted a small pedestrian exit from the park and
found arrows pointing out. No-one saw any flour leading to this.

On the streets we soon came to a DSVN mark. A few hundred metres later when there
was a false trail mark and a P trail some assumed the VN meant Very Near and they had
overshot the Drink Stop. They turned back to look more carefully but luckily a Harriet
caught up to inform them that the hare lived almost next door to the pub and the drink
stop was there. We had a very tasty cocktail (of which there was seconds and thirds),
sausages, sausage rolls and cheesy things.

The circle was held in the bag room and the pub provided a pitcher of beer. Apart from
the hare in a sexy shirt I have no recollection of any sinners. I did not realise the
drink stop cocktail was that strong.