Author Archives: New Balls

Run 1731 – The Blue Boat, Hammersmith, 15th November 2018

First time hashing from the Blue Boat for West London. Our hare for the evening was Giving Head, setting a trail around the Barnes side of Hammersmith Bridge.  Not bad in general, but rather lacking chalk/flour in places with the result that several latecomers were somewhat disorientated.  Anyway, all ended well with a generous supply of hot Hungarian food and plenty of drink back at the hare’s apartment.

Back at the pub, RA Butt Plug presided over the circle with his customary witty repartee, and down-downs were awarded to the usual suspects

Run 1730 – The Mitre, Richmond, 8th November 2018

This week’s run was hared by KMA, and kicked off at his local, the Mitre.

Sensibly, a drink stop was omitted as no one would have appreciated standing around in the cold. In any case, there was a wide choice of fine ales in the pub at the specially negotiated discount price of £3.50 a pint, so well done to the hare for arranging that.

One complicating factor in setting the trail was that, unusually,  the gates of Richmond Park were to be locked at 8pm that night.  (Subsequent investigation revealed that this was due to the annual deer cull that is currently in progress in the park).  So we all had to be out by that time.  As a result we had what must have been one of the shortest trails around Richmond Park for quite some time, at barely 5km in length.  But as is often said, no hare has ever got a down down for setting too short a trail.  The upside was that we got back to the Mitre in good time to embark on demolishing most of the landlord’s beer stocks.   The hare had also managed to negotiate the provision of hash food, which was most welcome.  Unfortunately,  the landlord  did make the mistake of placing the food dishes on a table right in front of where Fat Bastard was sitting.  So that didn’t last very long.

Usual down downs, including a couple of visiting pilots from the USA who appeared to have flown across in their corporate jet just for the West London Hash, only to be returning back across the pond once they had sobered up the next day.   I also vaguely recall that Last Tango may have been awarded a down down for being trapped the wrong side of the Richmond Park fence after the 8pm lockup.  Apparently she had to chat up the park ranger to let her out and hence avoid begin culled.

Run 1729 – The Albany, Twickenham, 1st November 2018

An early Guy Fawkes or late Halloween hash, depending on which way you look at it.

A well laid trail around Twickenham, set by our hare for the evening, Man Magnet, with suitably frustrating false trails en route.  A particularly challenging check-back on  the final check left most of the pack stranded, frustratingly near the promised drink stop but with no obvious route to follow, and required a phone call to the hare to get us back on track.  It was worth the wait as Man Magnet had provided plenty of wine plus a large box of her excellent sausage rolls, which even hungry hashers did not immediately snarf.  To top it all we had a firework display! Not just sparklers, but real banging and flashing stuff plus some rockets thrown in for good measure.  I believe the hare was assisted by Pickled Fart, Called Away and Rent Boy in putting on this display, so thanks to them for their efforts.

Back at the Albany for the circle presided over by RA Wacker, with down-downs for a number of overseas visitors and returnees.

Run 1728, The Dartmouth Castle, Hammersmith, 25th October 2018

Sir Humpalot must like Hammersmith a lot.  This was the second trail in the same locality in the space of two days, following on from his City Hash trail earlier in the week.  Fortunately he kept the two trails totally separate so there was no danger of confusion, unless you happened to arrive at the pub after the pack had already departed, in which case (KC?) taking the wrong trail was certainly an option.

Anyway, an enjoyable enough jaunt around the suburbs of Hammersmith, Shepherds Bush,  Holland Park, and Olympia, managing somehow to avoid most of the nearby green spaces, but taking in just about all the cobbled mews that exist in that part of the world.  At the end of the trail, may of us would have subscribed the the view that no mews is good mews.

Our RA for the evening, KMA, presided over the usual rag bag of charges and banter, and a good time was had by all.