Author Archives: New Balls

Run 1801, The Pear Tree, Barons Court, 5th March 2020

Run hared by Moron and Martian Matron, in an area not often frequented by WLH. Your scribe has to confess to giving the hash a miss on this occasion due to the particularly shitty weather, so congratulations to all of you who did brave the elements. Trail map picture kindly supplied by Moron.

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On On !

Run 1800, The Priory Tavern, Kilburn, 27th February 2020

This week’s run, ably hared by Shakesbeer, took us from Kilburn down to the canal and the scenic Paddington Basin area. At one point on the trail we paused at a regroup stop to view the blue plaque commemorating Roger Bannister, and the training ground he used in preparing for his record breaking sub-4 minute mile run. An inspiration to us all, but I suspect he would not have fitted in with the hashing ethos!

We enjoyed a well marked trail with just the right number of checks and a perfect length, so no complaints at all from the pack (q.v. last week’s run). The hare even managed to produce a drink stop from her back pack, which went down well.

Back in the Priory Tavern, the circle was administered by RA Butt Plug, and down-downs were dished out where appropriate. The beer just about lasted to the end of the evening (again, q.v. last weeks’ run), and everyone went home happy.

Run 1799, The Anchor, Clapham, 20th February 2020

This weeks hash was a live hare trail, courtesy of Stevie Blunder. Unfortunately your scribe was not able to attend this event and therefore had to resort to collecting anecdotal reports from those who did attend at the following week’s hash. It is fair to say that the live hare trail received mixed reviews. Many were of the view that it is a great concept that adds variety to our hashing experience, and anyone who could not manage the 5 blobs and you’re on rule was probably a bit dim. Others were of the opinion that the route with its plethora of false trails was confusing and difficult to navigate. The hare was kind enough to provide a trial map which I reproduce below. I leave it to each of you to draw your own conclusions.

Unfortunately the nature of the trail was not the only issue on the night. Once back in the Anchor, the hashers discovered that the pub did not serve anything resembling what they might reasonably expect in terms of drinkable cask ales. Again, not being present myself, I can only speculate as to whether this was due to bad beer management on the part of the landlord, or poor reconnaissance on the part of the hare. Either way, I think it fair to say that WLH is unlikely to be using this pub again in for the foreseeable future.

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Run 1798, St Margarets Tavern, St Margarets, 13th February 2020

Hare for the evening was Stonker, who I understand is more commonly to be found on the Barnes Hash (which as we all know hashes everywhere around London except Barnes). In spite of this potential handicap, he laid a not-at-all-bad trail around the posh St Margarets area of Twickenham, taking in the renowned Tescos, and the less well known Twickenham rugby stadium, all whilst being within sniffing distance of the delightful Mogden Lane sewage works. Good marks to Stonker for perfect length (7.5 km), clear markings, and plenty of SCB short cuts.

Unencumbered by a drink stop the pack returned to St Margarets tavern to a surprisingly good selection of rugby themed beers. The pub also supplied copious amounts of free beer for the circle, with some left over for general quaffing afterwards, so thanks for that.

The circle was initially convened by RA Whacker, who had to cajole several reluctant hashers from the warmth of the tavern to the chilly outdoors of St Margarets. Our hare, Stonker, was congratulated on setting an OK trail, although of course, as with all WLH endeavours, it was deemed to be a ‘S-H-I-T-T-Y trail’. After dishing out the usual round of down-downs Whacker handed over to our new RA-in-training, Casting Slouch, who proceed to imprint her own style on managing the circle. I think we can all agree that she made a very good job of it, so hopefully we will see more of her at future hashes (so to speak).

Run 1797, The Triple Crown, Richmond, 6th February2020

Our hash on Thursday night did not get off to an auspicious start. Five minutes into the trail, after a series of apparently random arrows and checks (see map below) the pack found itself looping back to the Triple Crown, our startling pub! Hooray, thought some of us, the prize for the shortest trail ever goes to hare Generator. Now time for some serious drinking! But it was not to be. A chalked On-On outside the pub indicated that the trail continued into the wilds of Richmond. To be fair, from that point onward, the trail was quite well (if somewhat eccentrically) marked and most of us managed to navigate round a scenic route, encompassing the Old Deer Park, Thames towpath, and Orleans Park to end up at a riverside drink stop.

At the drink stop, in addition to a warming glass of port, the hare served up some very tasty Stilton tart and chocolate truffle cake, both of which were were well received . Then back to the Triple Crown where we were welcomed by a totally bonkers, but very friendly, landlord, who was clearly very pleased to have the extra custom on what would otherwise have been a very quiet weekday evening. RA duties were ably performed by Whacker, and down-downs duly dispensed. One lucky returnee hasher was delighted to be invited to drink his down-down from his, until then, pristine new running shoes. Apparently it didn’t taste too bad. Social drinking continued into the night and the landlord was persuaded to put on another barrel of beer, so a good outcome all round I would say.

Run 1796, The Old Pack Horse, Chiswick, 30th January 2020

This week’s run was a belated Australia Day celebration, hared by none other than Dingo. Hashers were encouraged to wear a red dress or at least a red item of clothing, to mark the occasion and show support for the On On for Oz campaign being organised by hashes worldwide to support those affected by the devastating bush fires that have been ravaging that country in recent weeks. As an entirely red-attired Pope commented at the start of the evening’s run, only a couple of other hashers appeared to have been able to read the wear red missive from our web meister, Pickled Fart.

In her pre-hash briefing the hare warned that the trail would be quite long and so it turned out to be. Even taking a SCB short cut, helpfully directed by Foreskin, I logged over 10km (see trail map below). The FRBs doing the full trail would have clocked over 11km, which at over 6.5 miles is somewhat higher than Dingo’s suggested 5 miles. However, it was all worthwhile ultimately when we got to the drink stop located close to Dingo’s office, where in addition to a cocktail and much wine, there was an abundance of very tasty Aussie meat pies baked by Man Magnet (and also Dingo, I believe). I understand that certain hashers got through as many as 5 pies during the drink stop, so they must indeed have been good.

Back in the pub the circle was presided over by RA Whacker, who dished out the customary random down-downs. In addition to her usual haberdashery role, Man Magnet did the rounds of the assembled hashers to solicit donations to the Oz fire charity, so if you missed the opportunity to donate on the night, I am sure your contributions would be gratefully accepted by Man Magnet in person or by BACS payment to the WLH bank account.

Run 1790, South Kensington, 19th December 2019

Another hash day featuring torrential rain. The trail initially set by our hare, Stayover, was completely obliterated by a downpour just before the start of the evening’s run. The result was that it was transformed into a live hare trail, with the hare marking the trail as he went along, and the rest of the pack duly following on. Anyway, it all worked out OK in the end and we got to the drink stop. Luckily the RA had arranged for the rain to hold off for the duration of the run so at least we remained dry for that pert of the evening.

Back in the Drayton Arms, RA Plug presided over the circle and dished out the usual down-downs for assorted misdemenaours.

Run 1789, Pope’s Santa Run, 12th December 2019

Another year, and time again for another Pope’s Santa Run hared, as is customary, by none other than … Pope! The RA had clearly been working overtime as the deluge that had been in progress for most of the day miraculously cleared up at 7pm just in time for a dry start to the run. Nevertheless, our hare was having to work hard himself to keep the trail markings visible as we went round, in spite of using three bags worth of flour in setting the trail earlier in the afternoon. But it all worked out well in the end and we got to enjoy a grand trail around the Christmas lights of London’s West End, annoying festive Londoners and foreign tourists alike as we barged though their evening’s al fresco dining experience.

Back in the Stags Head, we were treated to lashings of hash food, before RA Butt Plug dished out the usual down-downs to our three visitors and various deserving hashers. Then it was time for Santa Pope to reveal his sack, so to speak, and miscellaneous goodies were grabbed by the assembled throng and unwrapped to their delight (or otherwise). Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas everyone, blah, blah, etc.

Run 1788, Osterley A to B, 5th December 2019

And now for something completely different: an A to B run, where A is not a pub, hared by none other than the infamous Rambo! In fact our start was in front of some unfortunate bloke’s drive on the outskirts of Osterley Park, and about 20 minutes walk from Osterley tube station. Nevertheless, some adventurous hashers did make it for the start, plus two walkers who had perhaps not registered the fact that it is very difficult to devise significant short-cuts on an A to B run and still make it to B! So off we set, but not through Osterley Park, as most of us were assuming, but skirting around it before venturing off into familiar Rambo territory of golf courses, railway tracks, fields of horses, shiggy tracks, mounds of slippery mud, etc. At about 8.5km, the trail, which took in most of the green spaces either side of the canal, was thankfully somewhat shorter than the 10km we have come to expect from a Rambo trail, and got us to our final destination of Duffy’s bar relatively unscathed.

RA Butt Plug had been sensible enough to head directly for the pub but was still able to muster enough charges to put to the circle, and down-downs were duly consumed. Hats off to hare Rambo for trying something more adventurous for a change.