The first West London Hash Covid-19 run, hared by New Balls Please took us on a virtual tour around some of Teddington’s landmarks, featuring Bushy Park and its extensive flora and fauna.

This week’s run was hared by Casual Simon, and kicked off from Earlsfield, one of the less commonly frequented stops on the Waterloo loop line. His trail took us along the Wandle towards Wandsworth, before looping around and heading back via Wandsworth Common to the Country House pub in Earlsfield. Not a bad trail with, for the most part, very clear arrows and just the right number of checks. However a number of us were caught out by the occasional complete disappearance of any visible trail for some considerable distance (hence the strange loops on the map below.) The hare was kind enough to provide a drink stop featuring one or two bottles of Sambuca and similar spirits from the back of his drinks cabinet, which seemed to be well received.

Back in the Country House, we were pleased to find that they had at least a couple of drinkable ales on tap. Certainly enough to lubricate the circle, overseen by RA Whacker on this occasion. Deputy RA’s in training, Casting Slouch and Roadrunner, received down-downs for not taking their training seriously enough. Must try harder next time! Your scribe contributed a few bags of hash chips to go with the post-circle drinking, as he was feeling rather peckish after the 9km run. They seemed to disappear fairly rapidly.

Run hared by Moron and Martian Matron, in an area not often frequented by WLH. Your scribe has to confess to giving the hash a miss on this occasion due to the particularly shitty weather, so congratulations to all of you who did brave the elements. Trail map picture kindly supplied by Moron.

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On On !

This week’s run, ably hared by Shakesbeer, took us from Kilburn down to the canal and the scenic Paddington Basin area. At one point on the trail we paused at a regroup stop to view the blue plaque commemorating Roger Bannister, and the training ground he used in preparing for his record breaking sub-4 minute mile run. An inspiration to us all, but I suspect he would not have fitted in with the hashing ethos!

We enjoyed a well marked trail with just the right number of checks and a perfect length, so no complaints at all from the pack (q.v. last week’s run). The hare even managed to produce a drink stop from her back pack, which went down well.

Back in the Priory Tavern, the circle was administered by RA Butt Plug, and down-downs were dished out where appropriate. The beer just about lasted to the end of the evening (again, q.v. last weeks’ run), and everyone went home happy.

Hare for the evening was Stonker, who I understand is more commonly to be found on the Barnes Hash (which as we all know hashes everywhere around London except Barnes). In spite of this potential handicap, he laid a not-at-all-bad trail around the posh St Margarets area of Twickenham, taking in the renowned Tescos, and the less well known Twickenham rugby stadium, all whilst being within sniffing distance of the delightful Mogden Lane sewage works. Good marks to Stonker for perfect length (7.5 km), clear markings, and plenty of SCB short cuts.

Unencumbered by a drink stop the pack returned to St Margarets tavern to a surprisingly good selection of rugby themed beers. The pub also supplied copious amounts of free beer for the circle, with some left over for general quaffing afterwards, so thanks for that.

The circle was initially convened by RA Whacker, who had to cajole several reluctant hashers from the warmth of the tavern to the chilly outdoors of St Margarets. Our hare, Stonker, was congratulated on setting an OK trail, although of course, as with all WLH endeavours, it was deemed to be a ‘S-H-I-T-T-Y trail’. After dishing out the usual round of down-downs Whacker handed over to our new RA-in-training, Casting Slouch, who proceed to imprint her own style on managing the circle. I think we can all agree that she made a very good job of it, so hopefully we will see more of her at future hashes (so to speak).

Our hash on Thursday night did not get off to an auspicious start. Five minutes into the trail, after a series of apparently random arrows and checks (see map below) the pack found itself looping back to the Triple Crown, our startling pub! Hooray, thought some of us, the prize for the shortest trail ever goes to hare Generator. Now time for some serious drinking! But it was not to be. A chalked On-On outside the pub indicated that the trail continued into the wilds of Richmond. To be fair, from that point onward, the trail was quite well (if somewhat eccentrically) marked and most of us managed to navigate round a scenic route, encompassing the Old Deer Park, Thames towpath, and Orleans Park to end up at a riverside drink stop.

At the drink stop, in addition to a warming glass of port, the hare served up some very tasty Stilton tart and chocolate truffle cake, both of which were were well received . Then back to the Triple Crown where we were welcomed by a totally bonkers, but very friendly, landlord, who was clearly very pleased to have the extra custom on what would otherwise have been a very quiet weekday evening. RA duties were ably performed by Whacker, and down-downs duly dispensed. One lucky returnee hasher was delighted to be invited to drink his down-down from his, until then, pristine new running shoes. Apparently it didn’t taste too bad. Social drinking continued into the night and the landlord was persuaded to put on another barrel of beer, so a good outcome all round I would say.

This week’s run was a belated Australia Day celebration, hared by none other than Dingo. Hashers were encouraged to wear a red dress or at least a red item of clothing, to mark the occasion and show support for the On On for Oz campaign being organised by hashes worldwide to support those affected by the devastating bush fires that have been ravaging that country in recent weeks. As an entirely red-attired Pope commented at the start of the evening’s run, only a couple of other hashers appeared to have been able to read the wear red missive from our web meister, Pickled Fart.

In her pre-hash briefing the hare warned that the trail would be quite long and so it turned out to be. Even taking a SCB short cut, helpfully directed by Foreskin, I logged over 10km (see trail map below). The FRBs doing the full trail would have clocked over 11km, which at over 6.5 miles is somewhat higher than Dingo’s suggested 5 miles. However, it was all worthwhile ultimately when we got to the drink stop located close to Dingo’s office, where in addition to a cocktail and much wine, there was an abundance of very tasty Aussie meat pies baked by Man Magnet (and also Dingo, I believe). I understand that certain hashers got through as many as 5 pies during the drink stop, so they must indeed have been good.

Back in the pub the circle was presided over by RA Whacker, who dished out the customary random down-downs. In addition to her usual haberdashery role, Man Magnet did the rounds of the assembled hashers to solicit donations to the Oz fire charity, so if you missed the opportunity to donate on the night, I am sure your contributions would be gratefully accepted by Man Magnet in person or by BACS payment to the WLH bank account.

It pays to be an optimist if you are haring a run on Boxing Day in shitty weather. Luckily the hare for the day was in fact our very own Optimist, who set a trail around Ealing. It is reported that the attendance was into double figures, which is quite an achievement under the circumstances, and apparently all present had a good time.

Another hash day featuring torrential rain. The trail initially set by our hare, Stayover, was completely obliterated by a downpour just before the start of the evening’s run. The result was that it was transformed into a live hare trail, with the hare marking the trail as he went along, and the rest of the pack duly following on. Anyway, it all worked out OK in the end and we got to the drink stop. Luckily the RA had arranged for the rain to hold off for the duration of the run so at least we remained dry for that pert of the evening.

Back in the Drayton Arms, RA Plug presided over the circle and dished out the usual down-downs for assorted misdemenaours.