Run Maps and Write Ups

Run 1784, The Albion, Twickenham, 8th October 2019

We were promised fireworks, and our hare, Man Magnet, duly delivered, assisted at the drinks/fireworks stop by Pickled Fart and KC. The trail to the sparklers took us around the streets of Twickenham, passing through the Crane River Park, with plenty of false trails to keep the pack together. Thanks go to Rambo, who augmented the WLH ‘official’ fireworks with an impressive explosive battery that he had been lugging around the trail in his back-pack.

Back in the Albion, RA Plug presided over the circle and dished out various down-downs, including one for our virgin. Hopefully we did not put him off coming again.

Run 1783, The Ram Brewery, Wandsworth, 31st October 2019

Originally billed as the Halloween Brexit Run, this weeks hash was a chance to celebrate (or bemoan) a further 3 months as Europeans. The joint hares for the evening were Sir Humpalot and Casting Slouch, who between them laid the trail around Wandsworth, as well as organising the beer and food for the evening. More on that later, but I think it s fair to say that they demonstrated that WLH can indeed arrange a piss-up in a brewery.

Casting Slouch, in her role as MC for the trail, was dressed in a fetching skeleton suit and provided suitable acoustic ambience around the trail in the form of the spooky soundtrack emanating from her mini ghetto blaster. Nice touch that. Added spookiness was provided by a couple of caped ghouls in Scream masks who seemed to crop up everywhere. (Turned out that this was Stevie Blunder and Miss Bean – but then who else could have run fast enough to always be on check first?) A well set trail – perfect length and managing largely to avoid the residue from the WLH trail of the previous week. We were on the lookout for bodies lying dead in ditches, but the only two Borises to be seen appeared to be very much alive.

Back in the Brewery, we were treated to a selection of 4 beers of which I believe 3 had been brewed specially for this occasion. Then the pizzas arrived! Enough for 1/2 a pizza each, so even the hoard of hungry West London and City hashers could only just finish them. Next on to the circle, presided over by RA Whacker, who proceeded to hand out Ram Brewery beer to just about anyone on any pretext. Oh, and there were some virgins who were introduced into the delights of hashing. A great night out.

Run 1782, The Plough, Clapham, 24th October 2019

Our hares for the evening were Ryde and Table Whine, who managed to set a largely off-road trail making optimal use of the green spaces of Wordsworth Common.

They appeared to have achieved the perfect balance of checks and false trails, as the whole pack kept together for virtually the whole hash. The RA had managed to appease the rain gods so that we were able to complete the run with nothing worse than wet feet after the deluge earlier in the day. At less than 7km, the shortish trail seemed to meet with general approval, getting everyone back to the Plough well in time for the first pint of the evening (or second in some cases). Circle was overseen by RA Whacker, with usual down-downs being handed out to visitors and returnees.

Run 1781, The Eight Bells, Putney , 17th October 2019

Our hare for the evening was More For Less, who set a neat trail around Putney and Fulham, via Putney and Wandsworth bridges. The RA had done his job well, and the weather remained dry for the duration of the hash. The hare wisely decided to forgo a drink stop so that we could be back in the pub and commence our drinking well before the arrival of the rugby club. The added incentive was the provision of hash food by the Eight Bells, which turned out to be an excellent tasty and filling chicken curry. In fact the pub did us proud with quick service and decent beer for the whole evening, in spite of having to deal with the rugby club influx.

In the circle RA Whacker dished out the usual down-downs to the hare, our visitors, and various miscreants. All in all, a good evening’s hashing.

Run 1779, The Stags head, Portland Place, 3rd October 2019

This week’s run was hared by Lay Me (with drink stop assistance from Called Away), and supposedly was to celebrate the 70th anniversary of the foundation of the Peoples Republic of China. We were treated to a tour around the West End, surprisingly under the circumstances missing out on Chinatown, even though we passed very nearby. We ended up with a drink stop outside the Chinese Consulate in Portland Place, with plenty of beer and wine on offer, plus fortune cookies and other Chinese themed nibbles. My cookie revealed that: ‘you will find great fortune in unexpected places’. I’m still waiting.

Back in the Stags Head, RA Butt Plug presided over a fairly brief circle, at which down downs were awarded to the hare and our various visitors. The reason for the brevity was the imminent arrival of the traditional Stags Head hashers feast, kindly provided by the pub landlord. That shut everyone up for a good few minutes. Normal beer lubricated socialising resumed for the remainder of the evening.

Run 1778, The Adelaide, Teddington 26th September 2019

This trail was to have been hared by KC but apparently he has done his back in (get well soon KC), so Dingo and Foreskin agreed to take over the hare role at relatively short notice. So it was that we set off for a very enjoyable run around Bushy Park, thanks to a well marked trail and the fact that heavy rain from earlier in the day held off for most of the evening. Thankfully no hashers were rutted by amorous stags during the run.

A drink stop was on offer, featuring (I think) a refreshing gin and prosecco cocktail, accompanied by Foreskin’s home made sausage rolls.
Back in the pub, RA duties were ably performed by Butt Plug and the usual suspects were awarded their down-downs. I managed to avoid one myself due to Stevie Blunder being visually challenged and mistakenly identifying another, totally innocent, hasher as me and therefore guilty of my misdemeanour. The evening in Teddington was not totally wasted for Bulldozer, who managed to stock up on Christmas presents for her family by rummaging through the recycling bins left out by us wealthy, posh, Teddington residents.

Run 1774, Duffy’s, Northfields, 12th September 2019

This year Pope’s Birthday Hash was, as usual, hared by Pope himself. However, rather than setting the ‘usual’ trail along the canal, etc, we were instead offered a trail around the leafy parks of Ealing, the Queen of Suburbs, featuring several false trails. Somehow the trail managed to wind its way to chez Pope (the Vatican?) where a welcome beer stop was on offer. Sadly, the greedy bastards on Monday’s London Hash had already eaten all the birthday cake, so we had to forgo that pleasure.

Usual merry revelries back at Duffy’s, overseen by RA Butt Plug. After that, everything was a bit of a blur to be honest. Hopefully everyone made it home in good time to be up and away on Friday for the WLH weekend in Bath.

Run 1773, The Ship, Mortlake, 5th September 2019

Hare for the evening was Backdoor Boy, who set a fine trail around Mortlake, and ultimately on to Kew, where we were treated to a drink stop outside his pad next to the Kew Records Office. There was some concern before we set out about the potential length of the trail, bearing in mind that the hare’s previous efforts had resulted in a 10 mile run. Thankfully this trail was a perfect 7.5km, so no problems on that front.

With at least 3 virgins and the same number of visitors, KMA’s job as RA was quite a busy one. I forget what most of the charges related to other than Pope’s down down for excessive display of his lycra wrapped man-bulge. Luckily Dingo was on hand to cover the offending meat and two veg with a leopard skin thong, thus sparing the delicate sensibilities of the assembled harriettes.

Run 1772 – The Magpie and Crown, Brentford, 29th August 2019

A return to familiar Brentford haunts for our hare, 2AM, and your scribe (and Knickers). They are still in the process of knocking Brentford down, but about 12 years too late in my opinion. Anyway, our hare laid a trail around Brentford old and new, and we got to see the new blue road leading to the shortly-to-be-closed Brewery Tap. Then on to the new Brentford football ground at Kew Bridge station, on on for a nostalgic run around the old Griffin Park stadium, before finally heading down the canal to a welcome beer stop.

Back in the Magpie and Crown we were faced with a bewildering choice of fine ales and a hash feast laid on by the landlord, who just happens to be 2AM’s next-door neighbour. Much appreciated, thanks! In the circle we were treated to an RA double act comprising Pope and Robocop, with some fine repartee as a result, including dog impressions by Petal and some weird dance performed by Ryde, Table Whine and a couple of our visitors.