There was something lurking at the back of your scribe’s mind all weekend – it was only when watching sports personality of the year (and no it definitely wasn’t the link between hashing and sport) that your scribe remembered – the run write up!
And last week’s run at Great Portland Street deserves a write up. An annual event in the West London hashing calendar (apparently – although it had completely passed me by) is the Christmas lights and presents run hared by our own religious leader – Pope. The pub is possibly one of the smallest of the hashing venues – but had some very fine and redeeming features.
The pack was adorned in various levels of Christmas dress as fitted the time of year, mainly santa hats and flashing lights for Thunder Thighs. Mad Cow won the prize for the best santa hat as it stayed erect all on its own giving him an gnome like appearance. We set off in search of Christmas illuminations– certain that the run was heading broadly in the direction of Oxford Street and the brightly lit surrounding area. There was less certainty around the revelation that there would be two carol stops on trail. Would they be carol stops with mulled wine? Carol shots with festive beer? Pope was delighted to announce they were actually singing carol stops. This was made all the more distressing by the fact that most of London was out revelling in the local hostelry!
Dodging through the Christmas parties, the first singing stop was at Leicester Square. Dingo showed her disgust at being given words to a carol with only one line (it could have been We Wish You a Merry Christmas – memory fails now) and the pack launched into a feeble singing attempt led by our very own choir boy, Next Week.
Off again through central London there was some excitement at seeing the Swiss clock then we weaved through various main and back streets – thwarted at one stage by a wall which Pope swore had not been there when he set the trail. The pack was dispersed by the time we arrived at the back of Oxford Street where there was a half-hearted attempt at the second carol although Rollback preferred to launch into a selection of Chelsea football chants.
Back at the pub we jostled amongst the locals to toast to the season and to provide Pope with the presents! Quite some thought had gone into to some of the presents – your scribe kept very quiet having bought quite a lame offering – Pope efficiently took note of the givers in order to ensure everyone received later on. And I can’t let the huge amount of food go unmentioned – this was the biggest and best spread I have seen for a while at a hash pub – and all for free! There is no faster motion known to man than hashers approaching free food – and this was no exception!
Whacker took charge of the down downs outside the pub with Pope being quickly admonished for not fitting into a santa suit. Mudgy Smuggler was punished for abandoning trail setting duties for family birthdays and Martian Matron for being Dutch (I think there was something more to this one but memory fails). Eagermount received recognition for his santa like behaviour (coming once a year) and Moron for his look-a-like qualifications. Unacceptable was pronounced a dirty old man (again no idea of the motivation) and the visiting unpronounceable Glasgow RA for risking life itself by staying with Eric. Dingo seemed to have lost most of her clothes (read accessories) on a previous run which were kindly returned to her with a down down and Rhyde and Tablewine were branded as ‘chuggers’ for their persistence in flogging raffle tickets to the hashing community.
Your scribe left with a battery checking device as a present which will make an excellent present for a family member..