Thursday 19th September and the pack were assembled in Chelsea, the home of football. The Rose and Crown, a great hash friendly pub, the hare All Fours, a couple of returning ex-vir9ins from the suffragette run expecting men in underwear, it promised to be a spectacular evening. Only one event of the week should have been a warning of what was to follow, the previous evening Chelsea had lost their first home game in European competitions in 10 years.
Just before kick off Bophal arrived clutching a small cool box……. Great….. We were all secretly thinking….. A drinks stop!!! Dingo introduced the hare and there was much talk of Thai food and massage. The evening was getting better and better. The pack set off and began to follow a winding but well marked trail. 60 minutes later and we were still heading in the direction of Clapham Junction, All Fours clearly wanted to take in all the best West London sights. Finally the turn for home…. Battersea Park…. Experienced hounds knew what was surely coming….. Bandstand…. Cold beers….. River view…….paradise….. {sigh}
Sure enough, arrived at the bandstand, upon which we were greeted with……. SAUSAGES. Really? Yes readers, there was no cold refreshing beer, no vodka jelly, it was West London’s first sausage stop!!! This hare had thought of everything!!! Sausage rations were tight, so one had to find a sausage partner with which to divide said porker. The sight of a sweaty hasher proffering a half nibbled sausage was simply too much for even the most seasoned of harriettes.
Returning to the pub and the circle was assembled. It fell due to Whacker call the sinners to account. The hare was called in and given a down down for her contribution to what will know be known in the annals of West London hhh as “sausage gate”. Dingo was charged with not knowing her pack as she extorted double run fees from Drain Oil. Stayover was charged with having 3/4 of a chipolata (allegedly…….), I was was charged with pushing up the average beer consumption at the Bridge every week (and that was coming from our RA…hmmm…. pot and kettle, Whacker), One of our visitors from Stuttgart wanted the run to be longer…… (Why not try City, Tintin?), and the pack said collective thanks to our visitor from Atlanta who saved our asses in WWII….. !@#*?? Kiss my ass was charged with using extreme alcohol consumption to avoid running a 1/2 marathon at Bacchus, and Dingo asked anyone who DID make it to Bacchus to please return her sports bra. All that remained was for All Fours to have her happy ending, and normal service was resumed at the Bridge on Saturday with a 2-0 thumping of Fulham, a happy ending for all!
On-on, Rollback