8th August 2013 – Pinner

The Queen’s Head, Pinner – Hare: Mad Cow

The date was 8/8. In the Dingo clubs (sorry, bingo clubs) of England, that is always “two fat ladies”. But in the absence of such, and having arrived early, I was able to observe a bit of intellectual repartee. As one does.

Martian Matron to Pope: Last time we were at this pub you broke your ankle, but before then your daughters gave us a great rendition of songs from Mathilda the Musical.

Psychodelic: (Sings Waltzing Matilda)

Pope: Mathilda not Matilda. Roald Dahl you know.

Psychodelic: Who’s Ronald Dahl?

And then I asked Crap Nav how old he was. He accused me of asking him a very personal question. But actually he was just trying to be grumpy and I didn’t think he was old enough. The same with Road Kill, who turned up wearing a grumpy old man t-shirt. A few people seem to be born grumpy, and we know who they are, but most have to develop the skills. Just look at Pope.

And then we set off. A new route around Pinner, with a fair amount of greenery, some children’s playgrounds, and a drink stop at which Pimms and canapés were served. For the uninitiated, what they call canapés in Pinner are what they call sandwiches everywhere else. But they were very tasty anyway, with a range of cheeses and patés which did us proud. A very competitive hasher wearing a Pacman shirt and Usain Bolt shorts seemed to be the first at every check. How Long still has a lot to learn about hashing, but he’s still young and not at all grumpy.

It was nice to welcome visitors during the run, since they were not there at the start. Tako Belle made an appearance, with young Godzilla, who was carried around most of the trail by Ryde, until Tablewhine took over for the short stretch back to the pub from the drink stop. And Captain Titanic, looking as dapper as ever, with a moustache that must have sold a thousand second-hand cars. Other visitors, who were there at the start, included M Diver from Tokyo and a return appearance of Hot ‘n Juicy from Cairo.

All of them were given down downs by Wacker, with Hot ‘n Juicy given special attention as she was celebrating the first day of the Eid al Fitr. Yorky Porky was included as an honorary Japanese and not a Moslem (difficult with that name). Man Magnet was rewarded for blocking the sewers of Kingston with the world’s largest fatberg. Dingo’s absence of geographical knowledge was noted – complaining that the next three runs are too close to each other, just because they are not in Richmond. Dingo is fast developing as a grump, and she’s only been GM for a short time. She’ll be up there with Pope before long. And Skylark, who was complaining about running in bongo bongo land, just because it’s not Thames Ditton. Not just grumpy, but offensive too, displaying an attitude that we simply don’t tolerate on the hash. The skinny white git.

Two visitors from what is left of Christchurch were welcomed. JFK was given a drink, and Becks was given a name for thinking that plastic bottles in a park looked like ‘Co6k or Twos’. Don’t ask me why – she’s a kiwi after all. And I seem to recall Blunder saying something about a boat trip from somewhere to somewhere, but not around the Baltic like Eurohash. Probably rowing around the lake in Regent’s Park. And that was it.

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