The WLH3 Doomsday cult met for their last run (well we’ll know at 11.11am on Friday 21 December) in the mesmeric location of the Grosvenor pub in Pimlico. No passports were required as the pack were left to ponder if our last ever hare, Eagermount – ably aided by Queen Viper, would set us on the path to spiritual transformation. We were assured by the Hare it was going to be a short journey to the end of the world, with no false trails along the way, so with the divine intervention of the RA to clear the rain clouds off went the pack towards the river at Vauxhall.
A cunning first check left all but the most hardy hashers wishing the world would end. No-one took the easy way out and jumped off Vauxhall Bridge so with the valiant efforts of the few front runners the pack was off and running again past the sights you would not want to see before the end of the world. The drab culture of the Tate Gallery; the boring home of Channel 4; the towering edifice of London’s finest gate keepers at New Scotland Yard. A rather dubious double false trail in St James’s set the pack off looking for sanctuary outside Westminster Cathedral (surprisingly not full with the Pope’s imminent arrival) and then finally off to the very end of the world – Pimlico council estate.
Safely back in the Grosvenor, Hash Cash decided that all should repent and donate the last of their money to the WLH3 raffle with the promise of a bottle of virgin blood for the lucky doomsday hasher. The start of the galactic alignment then began to manifest itself to the tuneless lament of Martian Matron as the bar was transformed by food and more food and even more food – in fact as much food as has ever been seen on WLH3 since Mayan times. Replete with full stomachs the assembled hordes paid worship in the final circle.
Amongst those honoured were Eagermount and Queen Viper as the first lambs to the slaughter and lo it was deemed a good run. A weary traveller visiting from Las Vegas – UFC and virgin Jim from Des Moines Iowa were made to suffer warm ale and West London ribaldry. Casual was returning to donate his wealth to the Hash as he no longer had need for worldly possessions, along with hash groupie and drink scrounger Daisy. The remaining relic and former Mayan Hash RA, Drain Oil, then blessed the circle and opened the gate to hell.
The global reach of WLH3 was then laid bare with tales of sin, debauchery and drunkenness in London, Brussels and beyond. Spare Rib, Dingo, Optimist and Stay Over all guilty of crimes and bringing hash shame. Tales of further debauchery over the years – a mooning Periodical at the Finnish/Russian border in 1996 (he was wearing the very same trousers last night ); Pope’s n*ked escapades in a bar in SE Asia over 30 years ago and Love Deuce pole dancing in his memory. Finally sanity was restored as the WLH3 worshiped the God that is Rolf Harris. On 20 December 1969 Two Little Boys was number one so it was singalonga Rolf with lookalike More On. Amazing. As the final climax to the evening Stay Over was voted Hash Slapper of all time before Mad Cow was honoured for spending all the hash funds. We don’t need them in 2013 do we?
Finally a big thanks to Paul the landlord for the food and the many free beers donated for the circle – Cheers
On On
Wacker