Run 1597, 28th April 2016 – Green Man, Putney Heath

The venue for this Thursday’s run was that reliable favourite: the Green Man, on Putney heath. With Lick a Pile performing a dual role as both hare and GM, what could go wrong? Well, nothing much as it turned out.
Having been assaulted by an overly aggressive lamp post on a previous hash in Action, your scribe was taking no chances on this occasion, and donned his high-viz vest for this trail. Oh how my fellow hashers mocked and ridiculed my garb. But the last laugh was on me, as I was not accosted by a single lamppost on the whole trail. Who says health and safety is a waste of time?
At the on-off our two visitors – the GM from San Diego Hash [insert name here] and Camping Gas from Guildford – were given the customary West London welcome, and the hare received a cheer for announcing that there would be a drink stop. We then set off, not into the beckoning wild woods of Putney Heath as one might expect, but in a series of loops into some of the less scenic housing estates of Putney. Apparently the hare did this deliberately to frustrate Pickled Fart, who historically has ‘owned’ the role of Putney Heath hash master.
Before too long, normal service was resumed and we crossed the road and continued on the trail through the heath, and then on around parts of Wimbledon Common, before returning back to the heath. Your scribe was diligently recording every step on his trusty OS map and is therefore in a positon to share this with you thanks to the wonders of the InterWeb: Map of Trail
Giving credit where it is due, Lick a Pile did a great job of setting the trail, with frequent clear markings and just the right number of checks and false trails to keep the pack together. The only thing I could not figure out is that even though I ran flat out between checks, the hare would always be waiting there already, smiling and looking very relaxed. So either he was very clever and used some cunning shortcuts, or alternatively, recalling the tale of the hare and the tortoise, our hare was in fact one of a number of identical ‘tortoises’ placed strategically at each check. Since the first explanation is clearly not credible, we must assume that Lick a Pile does indeed have a number of clones at his disposal.
Arriving at the drink stop we were treated to some potent Czech sprit reputed to be 65% proof. Deceptively easy to sip, but with an after burn that removes the lining from your oesophagus. As usual, one could overhear the Pope trying to coerce his fellow hashers into joining him in Hell. Then it was time to head back to the Green Man for beer and the circle. This proved to be a tricky gig for the GM when it came to inviting the hare into the circle, but Lick a pile handled it adroitly thanks to some nimble foot work. Our visitors were then give their customary down-downs, and since one was in fact the GM of the San Diego Hash, the rule: “One GM gets a down-down, all GMs get a down-down” was invoked, and he was joined by Wacker and Last Tango. Penalties were handed out for various obscure reasons that escape me now, some of which may have involved Australians and wine drinking. As usual, the details become somewhat hazy as the evening progresses.
On On
New Balls Please

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