20th February 2014 – Putney

Hare: Eric the Red, aka the Viking, the scot and a few other names to numerous to list.

I arrived at Putney tube station, knowing where the pub was, but I did look around for a “P” trail for confirmation.  No “P” sign was visible, it must have been erased by the worthy burghers of Putney, but there again I may be half blind.  However, when walking to the pub a “P” was spotted on an intermittent basis.  Was this an ominous sign of things to come?  Was this an omen?  The “P” frequency and the geographic location of the “P”’s would best be described as sporadic and random.  Does this account for the thin turnout? I do not think so, it was dangerously close to half term.  Moreover, hashers are made of sterner stuff. A challenging “P” trail is not a problem. 

The Hare guaranteed a degree of shiggy.  He was not wrong, in fact very accurate.  But there were a few blind alleys, where the trail was alleged to go, but the trail petered out.  It was noted that KC was always on the trail, so to start with we followed him.  Questions were asked if on occasions if the trail had been laid?  There were a number of occasions when it became a live hare, the trail being made up as we went along.  This is an acceptable form of hashing, but we need to be told.  Was this by design?  Probably when there were trail failures we needed plan B – the hare was in the lead. 

It was on one of the live hare incidents that there had been some hashers had been rechristened by the Madrid hash.  It is alleged that roll-up had been rechristened “roll-over” or was it “leg-over”.  Nutsucker had been rechristened “Mutt – Sucker”, dangerous – you are liable to have the RSPCA after you; but it could be worse – being rechristened “Butt Sucker”, well – kiss my arse.  You may have numerous amorous southern European running behind you. 

But to speculate, I do not know if Dingo was running on the Madrid hash.  What would happen if Dingo was rechristened, what would happen then?  We could have pingo (Hydro laccolith – a mound of earth covered ice found in the arctic or sub-arctic regions) or worse still to “Pongo” to which the word “pygmaeus” could be added: a person of the forest who lives close to Australia.  This is dangerous territory, I will desist.  But clearly prior to the Madrid trip, there needs to be a mass christening, where everyone’s hash name is changed to be Madrid compliant – where is our religious adviser. 

No sinners and other people guilty of misdemeanour have been included. 



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