This year Pope’s Birthday Hash was, as usual, hared by Pope himself. However, rather than setting the ‘usual’ trail along the canal, etc, we were instead offered a trail around the leafy parks of Ealing, the Queen of Suburbs, featuring several false trails. Somehow the trail managed to wind its way to chez Pope (the Vatican?) where a welcome beer stop was on offer. Sadly, the greedy bastards on Monday’s London Hash had already eaten all the birthday cake, so we had to forgo that pleasure.

Usual merry revelries back at Duffy’s, overseen by RA Butt Plug. After that, everything was a bit of a blur to be honest. Hopefully everyone made it home in good time to be up and away on Friday for the WLH weekend in Bath.

Hare for the evening was Backdoor Boy, who set a fine trail around Mortlake, and ultimately on to Kew, where we were treated to a drink stop outside his pad next to the Kew Records Office. There was some concern before we set out about the potential length of the trail, bearing in mind that the hare’s previous efforts had resulted in a 10 mile run. Thankfully this trail was a perfect 7.5km, so no problems on that front.

With at least 3 virgins and the same number of visitors, KMA’s job as RA was quite a busy one. I forget what most of the charges related to other than Pope’s down down for excessive display of his lycra wrapped man-bulge. Luckily Dingo was on hand to cover the offending meat and two veg with a leopard skin thong, thus sparing the delicate sensibilities of the assembled harriettes.

A return to familiar Brentford haunts for our hare, 2AM, and your scribe (and Knickers). They are still in the process of knocking Brentford down, but about 12 years too late in my opinion. Anyway, our hare laid a trail around Brentford old and new, and we got to see the new blue road leading to the shortly-to-be-closed Brewery Tap. Then on to the new Brentford football ground at Kew Bridge station, on on for a nostalgic run around the old Griffin Park stadium, before finally heading down the canal to a welcome beer stop.

Back in the Magpie and Crown we were faced with a bewildering choice of fine ales and a hash feast laid on by the landlord, who just happens to be 2AM’s next-door neighbour. Much appreciated, thanks! In the circle we were treated to an RA double act comprising Pope and Robocop, with some fine repartee as a result, including dog impressions by Petal and some weird dance performed by Ryde, Table Whine and a couple of our visitors.

And now for something completely different! Our hare for the evening, Stevie Blunder, informed the pack that this would be a live hare run, with somewhat unusual false trail/check markings. Possibly only two people at the briefing were actually able to follow his instructions, but nevertheless, the rest of us somehow managed to make it round to the drink-stop, and had a very enjoyable trail around Putney – Barnes Common.

Back at the Half Moon, RA Whacker presided over the circle, and the usual range of down-downs were awarded to the usual suspects. The pub treated us well with a fine selection of beers and hash chips!

Good work again this week by the RA in arranging for perfect weather for our pleasant run around Twickenham, ably hared by Minge & Tonic. A fine trail, exploring some of the back alleys of Twickenham, whilst managing to avoid many of the more commonly used routes. Drink stop provided overlooking Eel Pie Island.

Back in the Albany, RA Whacker presided over the circle, awarding down-downs as appropriate. Recipients included our two guests from Zimbabwe, as well as a particularly large pack of 5 dogs.

This weeks run was hared by your scribe, and involved a largely off-road trail around Home Park and Bushey Park. (I continue to be amazed as to how deserted Home Park is. We were the only people in the whole park that evening.) Drink stop provided thanks to the assistance of Come Forth in Orange and Pickled Fart.

The new landlord of the Foresters excelled himself by offering up hash chips and keeping the establishment open until well after midnight, resulting in some well lubricated hashers by the end of the evening.

Here is a map showing locations of some of the WLH runs during the current year.  Clicking on a run location will allow you to view the trail for that run.

AGPU run around Brentford, hared by GM Butt Plug.

Trail along the Wandle, hared by Drain Oil.

Putney Heath trail hared by Butt Plug.

A pleasant trail around Battersea Park and surrounding area set by our hare, No Foreplay.  Apparently a good drink stop was provided at the hare’s apartment, but some of the pack (me included)  bailed out and short-cutted it back to the pub once we realised that it was going to go way over the advertised 8.5 km mark.  (By my reckoning, the total trail would have been >11 km, drink stop included.)

Back in the circle, a few visitors were rewarded with the traditional the traditional down-downs by RA Plug.  We also had a naming ceremony for a hitherto unnamed hasher, who was anointed by the RA as “Saint Loo”, after the street where she chose to have a not-so-discrete pee. (It really exists – see map).

Good choice of pub for this trail (particularly as it is just around the corner for me), right next to the Teddington Lock Bridge.  Hared by some combination of Contour and Last Tango, the latter taking advantage of an e-bike for extra mobility.   A pleasant winding trail around the leafy lanes and housing estates of Ham Common, spoiled only slightly by the fact that the WLH trail overlapped another trail on much the same route apparently laid by the Richmond Stragglers (or whatever). Anyway, it was enough to fool one or two of our less frequent hashers, who ended up mistakenly following these FRBs along the Thames towpath for quite a distance until they realised that they were travelling far too fast to be actual hashers. Which made them late for the excellent drink stop where Tango was serving rhubarb gin and tonic, with views over the lock.

Usual stuff back at the pub, with Butt Plug presiding over the circle, and several visitors receiving down-downs.  We also toasted the health of the latest hash couple: Dunny Penny and Rent Boy.

Our hare for the evening was Dingo, who mentioned at the start of the run that it might involve false trails.  This turned out to be something of an understatement, with (by my estimate) , no fewer that seven false trails (see map) – some of them not that trivial either.  However, it was worth persevering to make it to the European themed drink stop by the banks of the Thames, where we are able to feast on a wide selection of cheeses, meats, pate and French bread, washed down by a generous flagon of red wine.  None of which will be available to us post Brexit, of course!   Dingo must now be one of the front-runners for WLH drink stop of the year, vying with Mad Cow and Butt Plug for the top spot.

Back in the circle, Whacker performed RA duties with occasional assistance from Pope, with the usual down-downs being awarded to the usual suspects.

Our hare, Rambo, promised that this trail would only be 8km long and would not involve getting our feet wet. There was some scepticism in the pack, based on his haring track record over many years,   However, he turned out to be true to his word on this occasion, and provided that one managed to follow the somewhat convoluted trail without getting too lost, it was indeed possible to get around within this distance.

The following track does include a shortcut and is not therefore a totally accurate representation of the hare’s indented trail.

Southall Trail

Usual down-downs handed out by RA Butt Plug,  after which several hashers chose to head off to one of Southall’s many curry houses for additional sustenance.

In spite of the torrential rain there was a good turnout for Man Magnet’s annual azalea run in Richmond Park.  The first drink stop was in the usual spot by the pond at the centre of the Isabella Plantation (see pics elsewhere), where the hare dished out vodka jellies. (Which turned out to be quite potent!)

But that was not the end of goodies for the evening.  The trail led us back  to Man Magnet’s gaff, where Just Michael was slaving over a hot BBQ to cook hot dogs for the assembled hashers, to be washed down with a Whiskey Mac.  Just before arriving at the BBQ stop we came across a rather bloody Kemosabe, who appeared to have gone a few rounds with the pavement and emerged as the loser.  (Hopefully he has made a full recovery by now).

Later back the Black Horse, Butt Plug presided as joint RA with the assistance of Sir Humpalot, the latter being held responsible for the shitty weather on the trail.  Amongst the usual down-downs, we had a naming ceremony for one of our newer members, who earned the hash name: Bloody Hotlips.  (I believe this had something to do with his medial expertise, but not entirely sure about that.)