A fine trail set by Sir Humpalot, with plenty of shiggy for those who like that sort of thing.

The Scrubs

Drink stop provided courtesy of Eagermount.  Most of the pack managed to keep out of HMP Wormwood Scrubs, hence the usual number of miscreants were present for the down-downs once we got back to the pub.  We had one visitor down-down for Steptoe from Pattaya Hash, no doubt back in blighty to revisit the old scrap yard in nearby Goldhawk Road.  (A surprising number of WLH hashers appeared to be not-unfamiliar with Steptoe’s home hash. Not sure why that might be!?)

Suddenly, figure-of-eight runs are all the rage in West London!  Last week, Pickled Fart’s innovative Richmond trail.  This week, Bhopal’s trail with not just one, but two, crossovers – here is the evidence:

Hammersmith Trail

A well marked trail, as you would expect from our hare raiser, with (many) perfectly circular checks, just to show off his draughtsmanship skills, I suspect.  A welcome rum and coke at the drink stop, located at Bhopal’s local floating social club/lounge. (OK, more of a tool-shed/workshop, but on WLH we are not too fussy).  Finally, loads of cheap beer and the obligatory down-downs back at the Weatherspoons.

A fine example of trail setting by our hare, Pickled Fart, including an audacious figure of 8 crossover – see trail: Richmond trail.  Managed to create a largely off-road trail without actually venturing into Richmond Park.

Made in Chelsea themed trail hared by Dingo and All Fours.  Plenty of pearls on display, teamed with waterproof tops and thermal underwear.  Might just catch on?

Chelsea trail

Drink stop featuring cocktail sausages and bubbly at the Battersea Park Pagoda.  A surprising number managed to get that far, bearing in mind the occasionally washed out trail.

Usual down-downs plus a naming ceremony for the hasher in the natty purple (actually maroon) velvet smoking jacket.  Now known as Purple Haze.

Australia Day hash hared by Man Magnet (with support from family).  No Dingo, but at least her dog bothered to turn up.  Trail was as for Man Magnets azalea run – Norbiton Trail – except that it was about 4 months too early for the azaleas.  Welcome drink stop supplied by Pickled Fart, and even more welcome beer and BBQ stop at Man Magnet’s gaff.

To view the map of this run, as recorded on Rambo’s GPS, click Here. One of our more interesting trails I thought.

On one of our recent runs some trainee journalists carried out some podcast interviews of Hashes for an internet radio station, if you would like to listen to this then stick your headphones, or speakers, on and Cick Hear. I was particularly intrigued by Dingo’s explanation of how she got her name; “because I come from Australia”. I had always thought that Dingo was an abbreviation for her full Hash name and also that there was a bit more to it than that……

Hared by Contour and (supposedly) Last Tango.

Took us on a convoluted tour around every single street in the Earls Court area, including a cunning underground section along Exhibition Road.

Trail here: https://goo.gl/Gneklw

Here is a map showing locations of some of the WLH runs during 2016.  Clicking on a run location will allow you to view the trail for that run.

Hopefully this will be helpful if you are a hare trying to decide where to set your next trail.

Our hares, KC and Cling On, had obviously been following the precedent set by Reach Around at last week’s run: plenty of arrows that suddenly peter out into nothingness, with no obvious check mark in sight, leaving the bewildered pack to stumble around in the dark Twickenham streets trying to find the trail.  This, coupled with a >10k distance and numerous intentional false trails, did give rise to a few grumblings amongst some of the assembled hashers.

Trail

KC did manage to redeem himself with a drink stop at his gaff, so all’s well that ends well, etc.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, I was awarded a (possibly) well deserved double down down for firstly trampling Dingo’s dog underfoot and subsequently running into a hedge whilst using my satnav.

It is somewhat disheartening to find the last 5 moths of run write-ups lost somewhere in the interweb cloud.  I don’t know if I can be ar*** to re-post the missing trail maps.

Anyway, here is the trail from a recent run in Barnes, hared by Rollback.  It included an excellent rooftop drink stop with a magnificent view of the London skyline at night.

Barnes WLH trail

The venue for this Thursday’s run was that reliable favourite: the Green Man, on Putney heath. With Lick a Pile performing a dual role as both hare and GM, what could go wrong? Well, nothing much as it turned out.
Having been assaulted by an overly aggressive lamp post on a previous hash in Action, your scribe was taking no chances on this occasion, and donned his high-viz vest for this trail. Oh how my fellow hashers mocked and ridiculed my garb. But the last laugh was on me, as I was not accosted by a single lamppost on the whole trail. Who says health and safety is a waste of time?
At the on-off our two visitors – the GM from San Diego Hash [insert name here] and Camping Gas from Guildford – were given the customary West London welcome, and the hare received a cheer for announcing that there would be a drink stop. We then set off, not into the beckoning wild woods of Putney Heath as one might expect, but in a series of loops into some of the less scenic housing estates of Putney. Apparently the hare did this deliberately to frustrate Pickled Fart, who historically has ‘owned’ the role of Putney Heath hash master.
Before too long, normal service was resumed and we crossed the road and continued on the trail through the heath, and then on around parts of Wimbledon Common, before returning back to the heath. Your scribe was diligently recording every step on his trusty OS map and is therefore in a positon to share this with you thanks to the wonders of the InterWeb: Map of Trail
Giving credit where it is due, Lick a Pile did a great job of setting the trail, with frequent clear markings and just the right number of checks and false trails to keep the pack together. The only thing I could not figure out is that even though I ran flat out between checks, the hare would always be waiting there already, smiling and looking very relaxed. So either he was very clever and used some cunning shortcuts, or alternatively, recalling the tale of the hare and the tortoise, our hare was in fact one of a number of identical ‘tortoises’ placed strategically at each check. Since the first explanation is clearly not credible, we must assume that Lick a Pile does indeed have a number of clones at his disposal.
Arriving at the drink stop we were treated to some potent Czech sprit reputed to be 65% proof. Deceptively easy to sip, but with an after burn that removes the lining from your oesophagus. As usual, one could overhear the Pope trying to coerce his fellow hashers into joining him in Hell. Then it was time to head back to the Green Man for beer and the circle. This proved to be a tricky gig for the GM when it came to inviting the hare into the circle, but Lick a pile handled it adroitly thanks to some nimble foot work. Our visitors were then give their customary down-downs, and since one was in fact the GM of the San Diego Hash, the rule: “One GM gets a down-down, all GMs get a down-down” was invoked, and he was joined by Wacker and Last Tango. Penalties were handed out for various obscure reasons that escape me now, some of which may have involved Australians and wine drinking. As usual, the details become somewhat hazy as the evening progresses.
On On
New Balls Please

It wasn’t the Journey to Hell, it wasn’t the Friday 13th hash, but this week’s hash was still macabre nonetheless. The Mismanagements campaign to attract new harriettes was continuing to go from strength to strength by having the run set in Acton Town, where not only does it have the highest number of greasy fried chicken shops per capita in the UK but it is also a suburb where there is currently a sexual predator on the loose. Those of us used to fending off predators on a Thursday evening were not perturbed by this and still made it along.

The hidden gem in amongst the dilapidation was our venue for this week, the George and Dragon pub/microbrewery. Hashers crawled out of the woodwork, excited at the thought of drinking real ale at Wetherspoons’ £3 a pint prices but in a chav-free environment. Unfortunately the better half of the haring duo, Martian Matron, was struck down with flu but our knight in shining armour Moron gallantly soldiered round on his own setting us a mighty fine trail.

There was a further casualty that evening, on the ‘Peckham of the West’ run itself when New Balls Please nearly knocked himself out. He’d been TV location spotting, looking for Mandela House and failed to spot the lamppost straight in front of him. You plonker!

Back at the pub our illustrious RA Plug once again entertained us with stories of stupidity from the run. Sins I can just about remember through my vodka haze are: KMA for his lack of navigational skills, Hummingbird for leaving us and Robocop just for being Robocop. There was a naming too, young virgin Millie, offspring of Chocolate Starfish was named Chocolate Millipede. The speed she knocked back that down down shows true hasher potential.

I can confirm that all three ladies toilets were fully functional at the end of the evening so we’ll be ok to return there in the future.

On on

Love Deuce