The Adelaide, Teddington
Hare: Foreskin
Scribe: Doner Kebab

After leaving our bags in the provided upstairs room the hare announced “Bad news & good
news”. Bad: He was not going to accompany us and we should thoroughly check and call
loudly. Good: The reason being that he needed to prepare the drink and food stop.

At the nearby first check, most checked towards the town centre but the true trail was
eventually called almost backwards towards the National Physical Laboratory and a Bushy
Park entrance. The check just outside the park was quickly called inside to the right by
NutSucker heading towards the North West corner for a presumably anti-clockwise tour of
the park.

After zig-zagging with plentiful checks the trail went into a tight loop North of the
Water Gardens. This caught out most of the pack but Butt Plug and few of the slower
guessed the trail would head South from close to an earlier check. They all called
loudly but the pack took a while to cotton on and follow. These new FRB’s soon passed the
walkers which included MoreOn and Lofty. The trail again zig-zagged with people checking
in all directions before Butt Plug again found trail towards the gap in the Woodland.

As the trail reached Chestnut Avenue (the road through the park), instead of following the
paths it crossed the grassy area either side of the road and became almost impossible to
follow. By this time Knickers had finally caught back up and Rambo who started late (as
usual) also caught up. They helped in the search for blobs of flour in the grass. Rambo
finally found one across the road but failed to find any more. Eventually Doner Kebab
found a check away from any paths and everyone there checked in almost every possible
direction. It was a while before Knickers found trail – back on a path – by which time
most of the rest had caught up.

As the light started fading the trail again left the paths and crossed a large area of
rough ground. Progress was very slow as occasionally someone would find a blob of flour
by their torch-light. Finally Rambo spotted a small pedestrian exit from the park and
found arrows pointing out. No-one saw any flour leading to this.

On the streets we soon came to a DSVN mark. A few hundred metres later when there
was a false trail mark and a P trail some assumed the VN meant Very Near and they had
overshot the Drink Stop. They turned back to look more carefully but luckily a Harriet
caught up to inform them that the hare lived almost next door to the pub and the drink
stop was there. We had a very tasty cocktail (of which there was seconds and thirds),
sausages, sausage rolls and cheesy things.

The circle was held in the bag room and the pub provided a pitcher of beer. Apart from
the hare in a sexy shirt I have no recollection of any sinners. I did not realise the
drink stop cocktail was that strong.

Hare:-Pickled Fart

Write up by Kiss My A***

With darkening skies and threats of torrential rain, this looked to be an interesting hash – add to that the dubious benefit of having Rent Boy as co-hare and the potential for excitement bordered on the terminal. But the hare – Fickle Phart had stepped in to save the day – had stoked everyone’s passion with the promise of a drink stop, and one that was in spotting distance of the pub.

And what a pub it was – the famed Anglers, on Teddington Lock; purveyor of fine food and no less than 6 draught ales from the Fuller’s cellars (although only 4 were on that night, they did make up for it with a rather tasty craft ale). Also the possessor of a vast, decked and pergola’d garden, complete with built in barbecue and sun deck. All of which was utterly wasted on the hashers who were camped indoors admiring the ale.

We were reliably informed by a returning Rent Boy, that the entire trail would be flour as it was virtually all off-road, a fact confirmed by the hare with a promise it ‘wasn’t too long’. We set off in hope, casting dubious glances at the gathering darkness above.

And off-road it indeed was! Over the river into the park we trekked; through bushes and scrub, over moorland and through forest – this was proper hashing! No dull suburban streets or tame concrete walkways for this hash – there was mud, nettles, ducking under branches and scaling obstacles. Far too many checks for my liking, but it kept the pack together and allowed the SCBs to overtake the FRBs to the point that when we arrived at the riverside drink-stop (G & T’s – very nice!) there were more SCB’s than anything else! However, despite this anomaly, there was still booze left, but, as we could see the on-inn on the other side of the river, the lure of ale dragged off the ‘thirstier’ hashers to begin social drinking.

We had a stand-in/trial RA for the circle (editor – pls insert hash name here!) (how the feck am I supposed to know his fecking name if you don’t –Editor) who did a sterling job consider the conditions. It would appear the heavens chose the moment of our circle, to unload about 6 months of rain upon Teddington for the next few hours, so the exact details of some of the charges were somewhat lost to the elements. I know there was a charge for some visitors from overseas, a charge for the hare and co-hare, but for what escapes me.

All in all, it was decided it was a good trail, in difficult circumstances and a good time was had by all (except possible anybody who had to cycle home!).

On On!

Sir KMA