AGPU run around Brentford, hared by GM Butt Plug.

Trail along the Wandle, hared by Drain Oil.

Putney Heath trail hared by Butt Plug.

A pleasant trail around Battersea Park and surrounding area set by our hare, No Foreplay.  Apparently a good drink stop was provided at the hare’s apartment, but some of the pack (me included)  bailed out and short-cutted it back to the pub once we realised that it was going to go way over the advertised 8.5 km mark.  (By my reckoning, the total trail would have been >11 km, drink stop included.)

Back in the circle, a few visitors were rewarded with the traditional the traditional down-downs by RA Plug.  We also had a naming ceremony for a hitherto unnamed hasher, who was anointed by the RA as “Saint Loo”, after the street where she chose to have a not-so-discrete pee. (It really exists – see map).

Good choice of pub for this trail (particularly as it is just around the corner for me), right next to the Teddington Lock Bridge.  Hared by some combination of Contour and Last Tango, the latter taking advantage of an e-bike for extra mobility.   A pleasant winding trail around the leafy lanes and housing estates of Ham Common, spoiled only slightly by the fact that the WLH trail overlapped another trail on much the same route apparently laid by the Richmond Stragglers (or whatever). Anyway, it was enough to fool one or two of our less frequent hashers, who ended up mistakenly following these FRBs along the Thames towpath for quite a distance until they realised that they were travelling far too fast to be actual hashers. Which made them late for the excellent drink stop where Tango was serving rhubarb gin and tonic, with views over the lock.

Usual stuff back at the pub, with Butt Plug presiding over the circle, and several visitors receiving down-downs.  We also toasted the health of the latest hash couple: Dunny Penny and Rent Boy.

Our hare for the evening was Dingo, who mentioned at the start of the run that it might involve false trails.  This turned out to be something of an understatement, with (by my estimate) , no fewer that seven false trails (see map) – some of them not that trivial either.  However, it was worth persevering to make it to the European themed drink stop by the banks of the Thames, where we are able to feast on a wide selection of cheeses, meats, pate and French bread, washed down by a generous flagon of red wine.  None of which will be available to us post Brexit, of course!   Dingo must now be one of the front-runners for WLH drink stop of the year, vying with Mad Cow and Butt Plug for the top spot.

Back in the circle, Whacker performed RA duties with occasional assistance from Pope, with the usual down-downs being awarded to the usual suspects.

Our hare, Rambo, promised that this trail would only be 8km long and would not involve getting our feet wet. There was some scepticism in the pack, based on his haring track record over many years,   However, he turned out to be true to his word on this occasion, and provided that one managed to follow the somewhat convoluted trail without getting too lost, it was indeed possible to get around within this distance.

The following track does include a shortcut and is not therefore a totally accurate representation of the hare’s indented trail.

Southall Trail

Usual down-downs handed out by RA Butt Plug,  after which several hashers chose to head off to one of Southall’s many curry houses for additional sustenance.

In spite of the torrential rain there was a good turnout for Man Magnet’s annual azalea run in Richmond Park.  The first drink stop was in the usual spot by the pond at the centre of the Isabella Plantation (see pics elsewhere), where the hare dished out vodka jellies. (Which turned out to be quite potent!)

But that was not the end of goodies for the evening.  The trail led us back  to Man Magnet’s gaff, where Just Michael was slaving over a hot BBQ to cook hot dogs for the assembled hashers, to be washed down with a Whiskey Mac.  Just before arriving at the BBQ stop we came across a rather bloody Kemosabe, who appeared to have gone a few rounds with the pavement and emerged as the loser.  (Hopefully he has made a full recovery by now).

Later back the Black Horse, Butt Plug presided as joint RA with the assistance of Sir Humpalot, the latter being held responsible for the shitty weather on the trail.  Amongst the usual down-downs, we had a naming ceremony for one of our newer members, who earned the hash name: Bloody Hotlips.  (I believe this had something to do with his medial expertise, but not entirely sure about that.)

Trail around Hammersmith, set by our hare, Lay Me, and overseen with some assistance from Called Away.  Perfect length and generally good markings as one would expect under the supervision of our hare raiser.

An unusual drink stop was provided in the middle of the closed-off Hammersmith Bridge.  Since not all hashers were able to follow the reasonably clearly marked trail of arrows to the drink stop, they found themselves on the wrong side of the pedestrian barriers, which gave the rest of  us the entertaining spectacle of seeing them grasping for their drinks and Easter eggs through the wire mesh, much like caged animals at the zoo.

Back in the Salutation, the circle was overseen by RA Wacker, with down downs to our visiting couple from Sweden.  Your scribe was awarded his well deserved 100 run WLH beer glass for services to hashing.

Finally, Airhead gets to hare a WLH! And very successful it turned out to be, with a perfectly calibrated 7.6 km trail around the parks and riversides of East Molesey. All laid with lashings of flour and enough short cuts for even the slowest hashers.   The hare was heaped with lavish praise on our return to the Albion, and admiration only increased with the provision of copious plates of hash chips and several Easter eggs. Chips, chocolate and beer.  What’s not to like!

Butt Plug was in serious multi tasking mode, performing the roles of GM, RA and Hash Cash.   Someone should give him a medal, or at least a down-down.

A jolly trail around the Queen of Suburbs (Ealing), hared by Optimist.  He managed to make it slight different from the default Ealing trail by going round clockwise, and omitting some of the well worn cliches, like Pitshanger Park and Fox Wood.

Setting a trail that takes in the Thames towpath, or one that includes Richmond Park are both worthy objectives.  Trying to fit in both in the same hash whilst starting from Kew is perhaps a hash too far?  Anyway, it was this task that was set for  us by our hare for the evening, Hobo.  One has to ask whether he has managed to successfully make the transition from imperial units to metric. He described the trail as quite long:  ‘ about 8km’. In reality it was nearer to 8 miles (about 14 km), as attested to by those hardy hashers who stuck it out for the full distance.   A large contingent of hashers decided to implement various short cuts so that they could get back to the pub the same evening. (see map for one such variation by your scribe).

Kew Trail.

Needless to say, the hare was duly reprimanded in the circle for setting a shitty trail, and awarded the appropriate down-down  by our RA for the evening, KMA.

Our hare raiser, Called Away, was responsible for setting the 1750th milestone run from the much loved Ram Brewery in Wandsworth.  Taking in Wandsworth Park and twisting around the Tames Riverside developments in the area, the trail was thankfully on the short side so that the pack could get back to the brewery quickly, to do justice to the 1750 commemorative beer brewed especially for this occasion. Oh, and we got to drink it out of our own special WLH 1750 commemorative beer glasses.

Pizza was delivered, as advertised, and duly consumed almost instantaneously.

Amongst the usual down downs, the circle welcomed two Putney-based newcomers to WLH (sorry, I forgot their hash names).

The initial omens were not good, with no P-trail from Mortlake Station to the pub, but in the event our hare, Petal, set a well marked trail around Sheen and Mortlake, taking in Richmond Park en route.

Pleasant trail north and south of the river, hared by Giving Head.

Only problem was that virtually all the pack took a wrong turn at Blackfriars Bridge, and ended up shortcutting it to the drink stop, instead of going the long way around via Waterloo Bridge.

Anyway, some unusual drink options were on offer plus food, so we were happy enough.  Unfortunately we were all back in the pub by the time that the hare arrived at the drink stop herself, having been the only hasher to complete the full trail!  Needless to say, down downs were forthcoming.