Our hare, Rambo, promised that this trail would only be 8km long and would not involve getting our feet wet. There was some scepticism in the pack, based on his haring track record over many years,   However, he turned out to be true to his word on this occasion, and provided that one managed to follow the somewhat convoluted trail without getting too lost, it was indeed possible to get around within this distance.

The following track does include a shortcut and is not therefore a totally accurate representation of the hare’s indented trail.

Southall Trail

Usual down-downs handed out by RA Butt Plug,  after which several hashers chose to head off to one of Southall’s many curry houses for additional sustenance.

In spite of the torrential rain there was a good turnout for Man Magnet’s annual azalea run in Richmond Park.  The first drink stop was in the usual spot by the pond at the centre of the Isabella Plantation (see pics elsewhere), where the hare dished out vodka jellies. (Which turned out to be quite potent!)

But that was not the end of goodies for the evening.  The trail led us back  to Man Magnet’s gaff, where Just Michael was slaving over a hot BBQ to cook hot dogs for the assembled hashers, to be washed down with a Whiskey Mac.  Just before arriving at the BBQ stop we came across a rather bloody Kemosabe, who appeared to have gone a few rounds with the pavement and emerged as the loser.  (Hopefully he has made a full recovery by now).

Later back the Black Horse, Butt Plug presided as joint RA with the assistance of Sir Humpalot, the latter being held responsible for the shitty weather on the trail.  Amongst the usual down-downs, we had a naming ceremony for one of our newer members, who earned the hash name: Bloody Hotlips.  (I believe this had something to do with his medial expertise, but not entirely sure about that.)

Trail around Hammersmith, set by our hare, Lay Me, and overseen with some assistance from Called Away.  Perfect length and generally good markings as one would expect under the supervision of our hare raiser.

An unusual drink stop was provided in the middle of the closed-off Hammersmith Bridge.  Since not all hashers were able to follow the reasonably clearly marked trail of arrows to the drink stop, they found themselves on the wrong side of the pedestrian barriers, which gave the rest of  us the entertaining spectacle of seeing them grasping for their drinks and Easter eggs through the wire mesh, much like caged animals at the zoo.

Back in the Salutation, the circle was overseen by RA Wacker, with down downs to our visiting couple from Sweden.  Your scribe was awarded his well deserved 100 run WLH beer glass for services to hashing.

Finally, Airhead gets to hare a WLH! And very successful it turned out to be, with a perfectly calibrated 7.6 km trail around the parks and riversides of East Molesey. All laid with lashings of flour and enough short cuts for even the slowest hashers.   The hare was heaped with lavish praise on our return to the Albion, and admiration only increased with the provision of copious plates of hash chips and several Easter eggs. Chips, chocolate and beer.  What’s not to like!

Butt Plug was in serious multi tasking mode, performing the roles of GM, RA and Hash Cash.   Someone should give him a medal, or at least a down-down.

A jolly trail around the Queen of Suburbs (Ealing), hared by Optimist.  He managed to make it slight different from the default Ealing trail by going round clockwise, and omitting some of the well worn cliches, like Pitshanger Park and Fox Wood.

Setting a trail that takes in the Thames towpath, or one that includes Richmond Park are both worthy objectives.  Trying to fit in both in the same hash whilst starting from Kew is perhaps a hash too far?  Anyway, it was this task that was set for  us by our hare for the evening, Hobo.  One has to ask whether he has managed to successfully make the transition from imperial units to metric. He described the trail as quite long:  ‘ about 8km’. In reality it was nearer to 8 miles (about 14 km), as attested to by those hardy hashers who stuck it out for the full distance.   A large contingent of hashers decided to implement various short cuts so that they could get back to the pub the same evening. (see map for one such variation by your scribe).

Kew Trail.

Needless to say, the hare was duly reprimanded in the circle for setting a shitty trail, and awarded the appropriate down-down  by our RA for the evening, KMA.

Our hare raiser, Called Away, was responsible for setting the 1750th milestone run from the much loved Ram Brewery in Wandsworth.  Taking in Wandsworth Park and twisting around the Tames Riverside developments in the area, the trail was thankfully on the short side so that the pack could get back to the brewery quickly, to do justice to the 1750 commemorative beer brewed especially for this occasion. Oh, and we got to drink it out of our own special WLH 1750 commemorative beer glasses.

Pizza was delivered, as advertised, and duly consumed almost instantaneously.

Amongst the usual down downs, the circle welcomed two Putney-based newcomers to WLH (sorry, I forgot their hash names).

The initial omens were not good, with no P-trail from Mortlake Station to the pub, but in the event our hare, Petal, set a well marked trail around Sheen and Mortlake, taking in Richmond Park en route.

Pleasant trail north and south of the river, hared by Giving Head.

Only problem was that virtually all the pack took a wrong turn at Blackfriars Bridge, and ended up shortcutting it to the drink stop, instead of going the long way around via Waterloo Bridge.

Anyway, some unusual drink options were on offer plus food, so we were happy enough.  Unfortunately we were all back in the pub by the time that the hare arrived at the drink stop herself, having been the only hasher to complete the full trail!  Needless to say, down downs were forthcoming.

Glow trail around Putney Heath and Wimbledon Common set by your scribe, New Balls Please.  The pack was decked out in glow-stick bracelets and neckbands and random splodges of day-glow makeup, and followed a trail of luminescent flour.  Not always easy to find the route though, and even the hare got lost on a couple of occasions!

I think everyone managed to get to the drink stop (except perhaps KC) and back safely to the pub, though there could still be some lost souls wandering around the common even now.

The RA, Butt Plug, had done a good job of keeping the rain at bay during the run, and presided over the usual antics in the circle.

Our hare, Rambo, almost missed the start of his own trail, arriving just in time but somewhat breathless form setting this marathon, which turned out to be somewhat on the lengthy side at more than 10.5 km. But then we would expect no less from a Rambo trail. Also, as promised, plenty of shiggy and several scrambles up and down a series of earthworks adjacent to the M4, in an area never before hashed by West London (even Pope verified this claim).

Eventually most of us got the the drink stop for a very welcome hot cider/calvados punch plus shortbread.  Just what was needed after that slog.

Back in Duffy’s Bar, KMA officiated in the circle and handed out down downs to the hare, our visitor from the Florida Hash (also called Duffy as it happens), and a hash virgin from Hanwell.  Trophy WLH beer mugs were also awarded to Who Killed Kenny, Hands On, and Come Forth in Orange for having participated in (at least) 100 hashes with West London.

The expectations for this run were not great when the hare for the evening, Generator, announced at the start that the On-out was in both directions!  Which did indeed turn out to be the case, much to the confusion of the pack.

She also demonstrated her ingenious trail marker flour dispenser, in the form of a plastic milk bottle with a hole in the bottom.  Whilst an interesting idea in theory, in practice the amount of flour dispensed was so slight that only those with particularly good eyesight and night vision were able to pick out the trail, which meandered around the streets of Brentford/Chiswick/Kew.

Eventually some of us FRBs with a smattering of local knowledge managed to find our way to the drink stop, only to encounter a lonely looking Moron with a bag of crisps, but no drink.  After waiting for 15 minutes and still no sign of the hare with the drink, several of us headed back to the pub for some beer. (Apparently the hare with the drink did eventually arrive, though by some accounts,  not necessarily worth waiting for).

Down downs were awarded accordingly in the circle, once the hashers had found their way back to the pub.

Trail around Sheen and Richmond Park, hared by Pickled Fart (in lieu of Airhead, again).  Mercifully short in view of the blizzard-like conditions sweeping into Richmond that evening.

The first run of the new year was hared by Ryde and Table Whine, and was the first of several celebrations to mark the start of their retirement from the world of work.  Hence, they kicked off the proceedings wearing their slippers, and promised us hot Horlicks for the drink stop.

The trail was set around the scenic backstreets of Brenford, and was something of a nostalgia trip for at least two of the pack.  The length of the trail did indeed turn out to be just right, as promised. As the hare helpfully pointed out, if it had been any shorter, we would not have got back to the pub, and had it been any longer we would have overshot our destination.  A drink-stop was laid on featuring some hot toddy. Not Horlicks, but OK under the circumstances.

Back at the pub, something of a crisis atmosphere prevailed. Gordon, the landlord, had been rushed to A&E earlier in the day. His deputy was gamely trying to serve a mass of thirsty hashers, and was down to his last barrel of beer.   Luckily Gordon did make it back before the end of the evening, apparently all well, and the beer flow was duly restored.

RA duties were performed by Wacker and various visitors and a virgin were duly awarded down-downs.  Then Rambo briefly took over the RA role to inform the circle that one of our number had been awarded a MBE in the New Years Honours List.  In fact the recipient of this award was none other than Wacker himself!   Arise, Sir Wacker, we are not worthy to run in your footsteps, etc, etc.

Here is a map showing locations of WLH runs during 2018.  Clicking on a run location will allow you to view the trail for that run.